11th June
Health update. I believe I threatened you all with an update on my current medical predicaments. If you have some wet paint you wish to watch dry then it may be more interesting than the following.
In the past 19 days I have been up and down to King’s (Maidstone once) more often than a yo-yo. In no particular order I have seen a very nice anaesthetist (en-GB for pedants and Julian) who made me walk up a staircase and informed me that she will be sticking a large needle in my back, my new best friend Mr Haq who is my colorectal consultant, (he might not have the best aptronym but he has a firm hand shake which I rate highly for someone who is going to cut me open!), two liver consultants, a very pleasant cardiac sonographer who lubed me up in quite an evocative manner and a team of nurses who put me through a trial for the Tour de France, also known as a cardiopulmonary function test. In between all this my local GP surgery got in on the act and removed whatever blood I had left for reasons that remain unknown.
However, it doesn’t end there. I am currently awaiting appointments for an intestinal ultrasound and another bloody tube up the arse! So what, I hear you cry, does this mean? Subject to past and future tests being positive then:
1)Mr Haq will haq* and,
2It’s bye bye** to Harry.
*Obviously I hope he undertakes the surgery with care and precision,
** apparently Harry may come back to visit in the future. So there it is in a nut shell. They may or may not cut me open again. The next instalment will follow at a later date (unless you raise enough money to convince me that it doesn’t have to).