The following day dawned although having to leave my house at 6.30am meant that dawn arrived in the car, just after Gravesend. The journey to London was as grim as predicted but our hero and his batwoman (note – executive decision taken following the uncertainty expressed in the kidney stone blog about whether batwoman is an acceptable alternative to batman, it is). It is also worth noting that whilst Mr and Mrs White van driver were enhancing their reputation, thanks to Mrs Google Maps, we were forced to join in. On three occasions we were made to turn off at a junction but then taken straight back onto the road we had just left as it was quicker than just staying in the road and waiting patiently. Approximate time saved? Maybe 2 seconds
Finally I arrived at Guy’s at 8.50am. Not bad. 2 hours 20 minutes including a pleasant stroll from Tower Bridge Road to the hospital. On arrival I went straight to my designated level and with little time lost I was ushered in for attempt number 3 for PICC line insertion. This time nothing could hold the nurse back and within 15 minutes my PICC line was in. My chemo session was due to take place at Queen Mary’s Hospital, Sidcup at 11am however Guy’s made the very sensible suggestion that on this occasion I have it at Guy’s thereby saving the dash to get to QMS for 11am. I duly agreed and moved up one floor to wait in the chemo reception area. After 10 minutes I plucked up the courage to ask a passing nurse if they had me on their list as the possibility that they had not updated their records and the computer system still expected me at Sidcup had crossed my mind. After confirming that my first name was not James, she assured me that I was on the list. Another 10 minutes past before the nurse returned and asked if I could go back down to reception, sign out from my PICC line appointment and then sign in again for my chemo appointment. I’m not sure how well I contained my surprise at this request.
Following on from my epic mountaineering trek down and then back up the flight of stairs to reception I settled back into my chair in the waiting area. Shortly thereafter I was ushered into the ward and had a choice of which seat to select. I selected the seat adjacent to the window which, from the 9th story of the building, gave a rather impressive view of South London. With a little bit of imagination and a good knowledge of London I could see from City Airport, Canary Wharf, London Bridge Station, Crystal Palace, Brixton and then off in the distance, perhaps Croydon.
Having settled into my chosen seat my nurse for the day came over and started getting me ready for the next 4 hours of infusions. Around 15 minutes later, having swiftly and effectively outlined some of the 96 different ways in which the chemo drugs could lead to significant psychological impairment, mental retardation, uncontrollable muscular contractions, vomiting, erectile dysfunction, perfuse sweating, dodecaphobia, and possibly death (sounds almost merciful) just to name a few, I was left in peace. I will avoid detailing the next 5 hours although I will just mention that it is a surprisingly good environment to get through a lot of work emails although not such a good place to hold a teams meeting. It was also quite reassuring that playing the never boring ‘guess the flavour of the egg mayonnaise NHS provided sandwich’ is still as much fun as it used to be. Also, the only noticeable side effect was the sweating. This was dealt with in the tried and tested NHS manner by sticking a needle longer than the M26 into my arm whilst listing the significantly reduced number of 34 possible side effects that the side effect remedy may induce.
Triskaidodecaphobia inevitably trumps !